doing the scary stuff
I have honestly spent my entire life assuring myself and anyone who would listen that I am NOT a business-woman. The idea of business scares the ever-loving mess out of me and I suppose my “fear of failure” gets triggered at the sheer thought of exchanging anything I could do or create with someone else’s hard-earned money, but here we are.
I’m sure I’m not alone in this; however my husband has said something over and over again and, per usual, I think he might just be right. Do NOT tell him I said that. He says this: Nothing will change until you get mad enough. Ok, it’s at least something like that, and here’s the truth- I’ve spent a large chunk of my life believing I’m only capable of doing ministry and sometimes receiving a donation in return for my efforts, whatever those efforts may be, and now that I’ve done that for years and years I can look back and say- I should’ve believed in myself sooner. Those are actually the words of Bishop TD Jakes when asked what he would do differently, if he had the chance to go back.
If I had the chance to go back, I wouldn’t believe whatever it was I bought into that told me my God-given abilities were meant to be offered without any expectation of compensation. Now, do I have an issue doing stuff for free? Goodness, no! Will I travel and minister and be available to people just because they ask? Sure! But that doesn’t mean I can’t ALSO believe in my self and my abilities enough to be my own daggum business.
This brings the question to mind, then- is there somewhere in your life that you wish you’d have believed in yourself sooner? It’s one thing to have hit that mark of just-mad-enough to take yourself seriously and then look back and go, I wish… but what if you haven’t hit that mark yet? You know you could just start believing in yourself now, right? Take your gifting seriously now. Assess your ability to contribute in some way NOW, and let today be the day you begin believing you… You don’t actually need anyone’s permission to do this.
Funny enough, I’ve gotten everyone’s permission about a million times. Isn’t it amazing how others see the things in us that we struggle to see in ourselves? Fortunately my friends and family are long-suffering and haven’t given up on kicking me in the pants. And so I find myself here- on the cusp of launching my first ever actual business idea. It’s something I already do, usually for pay but often enough just to help others, and now I’ll make it available to more people and in a way that makes sense and makes money. Do you know the thought that helped kick me into it? Well, it followed my first thought, which was very self-sabotage-esque: What if I get too many orders and can’t keep up? Had I stopped there I would’ve let the “fear of failure” mechanism make my decision for me, but something else whispered- You’ll bring other people on to work and then you’ll be able to help others make money, too.
Now there’s an idea- believing in yourself isn’t just about you. Do you know how many people will benefit from you taking the gift you have seriously? It’s wild how a false sense of humility is really trying to stop you in your tracks. That we would believe it’s prideful to think you have something to offer the world, when in reality I would argue that it’s a slap in the face of God to pretend that you don’t. As if He created someone who has nothing of value within them, what a silly thought!
Do you believe in you? And if you really do, what can you share with the world that benefits people around you? And are you tired of discounting yourself yet? I’ve decided to answer those questions by creating a space called FlowHouse Creative Studio where I can help small churches and businesses that don’t have design-savvy people on-hand to create their graphics. I do this stuff already, and I believe it’s a gift that can help others. I’m glad I’ve decided to believe in me. It’s time for you to believe in YOU.